Each day last week had a unique energy flare to it; shifting, palpable and surprisingly intense. I personally felt as though I had been put into a 55 gallon drum emotionally tumbling through space between Pluto stationing direct on Monday and Venus moving retrograde on Friday. The collective buoying between the release of deeply evaluating the innards of our destruction and creation (Pluto) and the desire to cultivate beauty, happiness, relationship and abundance (Venus) in our lives. Friday morning, I woke sobbing, for no other reason than feeling the collective cry of Venus moving over painful, triggering and intense ground as our political and cultural climate shifted. Each of these collective emotional swells acts as a contraction awakening more women and men to their once sleeping dragons. To be effective in life, we often must slay the darkness and triggers within so we are no longer swept away by the storm created tides.
While I consider myself a student of archetypal astrology, I am not an astrologer and employ a trusted professional for my own needs. I do however experience planetary energies quite viscerally. When I tap into this transit, it feels like peeling back some pretty thick layers of scar tissue over the course of the next six weeks. Whatever is arising, if you're able to greet it with the intention to foster self love through the pain and trauma emerging from your cellular memory, you may find it a bit gentler experience. It can be incredibly challenging to meet the deep shards of painful memories from this lifetime and those past during this season lending the energy ripe for discovering new ways of managing ancient stories and pain.
Venus Retrograde Season 2018, began October 5 and runs through November 16th. She will be in the sign of Scorpio until the 31st then move into Libra on the 1st of November. We have already moved forward over this energy beginning September 3rd so do look at the themes that began around that time to bring your awareness to what ground is being tilled up through this transit. Retrograding only 7% of the time, Venus is the least of all planets to draw our awareness inward to examine what's working and what isn't. Meaning, this is a rare time the energies align to assist in healing our relationships (business partnerships, friendships, intimate/family relationships, etc.) on a significantly powerful level. It starts with the relationship we have with ourselves, so do love yourself gently through this transition.
We'll be moving through Scorpio's old ground unmasking the skeletal remains of relationship issues, to expose our understanding of that which destroys also creates. To me it feels as though unhealed ancestral wounds are primed to rise within us for a deep cleaning and healing. Scorpio, an intense fixed water sign energy, is determined to get to the blood and guts of situations -- he wants to look at the energetic decay and really take it all in and doesn't flinch in the process. In the extreme, the desire for sexual exploits or to possess a lover wholly -- getting a partner to surrender body and soul -- may be on the rise. Be cautious of vampiric energy and attempt to look beyond the immediacy of fulfilling reckless desire as it can derail the available healing energies.
Retrograde in Libra, beginning November 1st, Venus can slip into excessive emotionality and old temptations troubled with impulsive purchases and casual sex. Makeovers and investments in material things are best left until Venus moves direct on the 16th, as what we perceived as an amazing idea or investment during her retrograde may look very different when she turns direct. Ideas about romance, love and sex are likely to be unearthed and require a tender touch throughout the duration of the season to facilitate healing without reinjury. Libra desires to unite and become one, entwining itself around external partnership and pursuits to feel complete. Be especially cautious about making irrational relationships commitments at this time, as it is easy to get carried away with these energies in the mix.
Venus moves direct November 16th and all the hard work we've done during her rare retrograde transit will be at the fore of integration as we move through Libra and Scorpio for a third time lasting until December 17th. As wounds surface, let us remember we are all on this beautifully abundant and providing planet together. Mother Earth holds us close to Her heartbeat while Father Sky lights our way; neither asking the other (or us) anything in return. Each relationship we enter brings abundant opportunities for growth, healing and learning about love -- sometimes discovering we are our own deepest love is the greatest lesson we can hope to receive. We can also never know the lens in which another wears, the role we have played or been cast. In that, honoring ourselves for enduring the difficult relationships in our lives by seeking to understand the teaching offered is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give ourselves in the pursuit of healing our human hearts and clearing karmic chords and debris.
Yoni Oracle Reading
The intention of this reading is to offer deliberate ways to nourish our wise woman, emotional body and sexuality. When coming to The Goddess Oracle (by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and Illustrated by Hrana Janto), I am both speaking to our outer (that which we project as holy -- Goddess) and inner (that which we hold in grace -- I Am That I Am) energies. I come as both student and teacher, open to embrace a teaching from the Goddess to discover or deepen our understanding of a lesson in the evolution of personal growth and awareness. It is through Her, we embrace these messages as opportunities to nourish our radically wild and tenderhearted souls radiating across the physical plane of here and now.
For the period of Venus Retrograde (October 5 - November 16, 2018), I asked:
How can women collectively nourish wholeness of Self
as our personal values and self-worth increases?
Amaterasu Omi Kami, The Shinto Sun Goddess of Japan, delivers a message from our wise woman and grandmother place inviting us to see ourselves as a reflection of our inner beauty. She tells us we may uncover hurts and find old wounds rising to the surface during this time and, while we may want to withhold our light from the world, that is not what we are being called to do. Amaterasu hid herself away after being wounded by her brother until the Shaman Goddess, Uzume, peaked her curiosity with dance. Hidden in the depths of her own cave and self imposed prison she was unable to see her own radiant light and therefore, the world was without the necessary warmth she provided. So often, we forget the value of our internal beauty and what we have to offer as our skills and callings change during this point in life. It is the unseen beauty mark carried in the swell beneath our breast. It is our deliberateness and care to nurture and hone our gifts. It is the unique soul expression that allows us to brilliantly blaze in confident radiance.
Sister, hold a mirror to see your face each night during this retrograde season with the intention to embrace the lines of grief and joy equally in gratitude. I loved watching my grandmother put night cream on her face and hands when we prepared for bed at night. There was something about the way she touched her skin that always stood out to me as something special; witnessing the reverence she carried in honoring herself as a woman and cherishing the subtle pleasures of a life well lived in each one of those sacred lines.
The emotional body speaks as Sedna, reminding us that we can either choose to take the perspective of victim, or move into this space and time with our power intact. According to the Inuit, Sedna found herself dissatisfied with her suitors and took up with a Seagull who made promises he could not keep. Dissatisfied with her choice, she escaped with her father, only to be tossed overboard and later, her fingers cut off, as he ultimately desired to save his own life. From her dismembered fingers, sea creatures emerged. Sedna encourages us to see at some point we have all been victimized and must take responsibility for our choices. We can either choose to remain in victim stance (seeking rescue from her father because that is a skill she had developed), an energy ushered in through the period Chiron transited through Pisces (April 2010 - 2018) or create abundance from the experience life has on offer (creation grew from her dismembered fingers ). Chiron in Aries (April 2018 - 2027) awakens our inner resolve and shakes the proverbial foundation of our wounds in order to bathe in the first light of a new era. It can be frustrating, in some cases immobilizing, to reach a layer of understanding and feeling freed or healed of an old injury only to have it reopen. The truth is, if it's deep and continues to visit, as though via a fated cycle, it is likely lifetimes old and professional counselor to assist, support and guide your process over time is an ideal expenditure of time and resources.
To nourish our sexuality, the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, Herself comes to invite you, Sister, to remember the importance of self care, love and nurturance. It is easy to lose the time it takes to remain ourselves when other (something outside of us) becomes a higher priority. Many of the women I work with have found themselves lost after having achieved their greatest goal (i.e. married, baby, career, etc.). Women who have grasped onto familiar things that once allowed them to feel content, happy, sensual, sexual and desired or simply connected to life. Disconnections between the body, mind, soul and will can cause, in the extreme, anxiety, depression or an existential crisis. The way back to center is a unique path for each of us.
Venus in her retrograde state accentuates self evaluation and worth. The Goddess advises, we view our natural gifts and tendencies as skills we have honed over many lifetimes that are now ready to come forth into the world. As we cultivate a nourishing, self accepting and luxuriously loving relationship with ourselves (the energy also available to us now), we begin to value the unique Soul expression we are and set the energetic frequency to attract others ready to enter into healthy partnerships where individual and relationship needs count and matter.
Opportunities to Nourish Our Radically Wild and Tenderhearted Souls
Collectively, the Goddess energies of the cards and available in the sky remind us of our own unique light we are entrusted to shine in this world as a Soul by acknowledging and honing our gifts. It may be time for you to begin journaling or constructing a detailed plan moving forward. If words elude you, any form of art can help open authentic expression without the need for words -- Jungian mandalas are especially well suited for this. Others, may find it nourishing to begin a Goddess bathing ritual to awaken ones senses and sensuality with oils, salts, scrubs or rose petals -- I personally think every woman should take the time to treasure her physical form in such a sacred and ancient way. If you reside in Colorado, do enjoy the luxury of a visit to your favorite hot springs or the spectacular vapor caves in Glenwood Springs.
The key is to do something with the energies available to us when they are cosmically aligned and they are so deliciously aligned right now. It simply makes sense to me to surf the cosmic tides of this great human adventure as co-creator with Universe by tapping into the available energies as they cycle through. I perceive these energies as literal gifts offered to us by the Gods and Goddesses that rule the Heavens offering their teachings, wisdom, support and love through each energetic cycle. They truly desire for us to do and become our best, lending their energies to awaken codes as we are ready to integrate them into our physical lives.
May these messages serve you well over the coming six weeks,
Jessica Snake Maiden
I recently shared an article about vampirism in a private setting and was asked a few questions that started with why. Why I allowed this behavior into my life, home, why I didn't take the advice of those around and ultimately, what the hell happened? (To understand the concept of vampirism from a psychological perspective see The 5 Types of Energy Vampires.)
Truly, I have asked myself why thousands of times and can now honestly answer: the belief I had about myself held me hostage. I believed myself to be a good, caring, kind person who understood the human condition extends across a spectrum of behavior. I believed human beings were intrinsically good and 'unconditional positive regard' was the way in which people could authentically heal their deepest wounds. It was what I was taught as vital to becoming an effective clinician that led me down a path where I lacked discernment as it had become 'judgmental' in my mind. Often reflected back to me by the vampires I speak of. I'd brought the concept into my personal life and over extended it in my professional one--that's on me. From accusations of 'you're shaming me' to 'you're not in the flow and frequency of Oneness,' property damage and threats of rape, I have heard many judgments and manipulations cast my way during attempts to set healthy boundaries, honor my Divinity and respect that which I knew was most sacred. Thus, causing me to question my beliefs and my Self.
Every vampire I have met has followed a similar pattern: honest and upfront about who they are when we met, their history, mistakes, addictions, crimes (including felonies and molestations)... whatever is in their past that would turn a HEALTHY person away, is put out on the table in an honest and grotesque form. Albeit slightly slanted--they were the victim, wrong place wrong time, false accusations, etc. all in a way that indicates they have taken personal responsibility for their mistakes and past crimes and are changed because of or in spite of it. With each new disclosure we accept, by simply continuing the relationship when we feel the first twinge to get out or it's gone too far, we verbally and nonverbally demonstrate their behavior is acceptable within the relationship we share with them. Granting them permission to move into abusive patterning with us as we have proven our loyalty with the continued acceptance of their maladaptive behaviors and dismissal of others in our lives. Thereby, emboldening their safety and security within the relationship inevitably leading to increased disclosures and demonstrations of poor behavior. Only, now we are likely cast as being judgmental or the cause of it when we were once the soothing balm.
No, they are not, they have a zoomed out (the forest) view compared to our zoomed in (the trees) and narrow view of the experience. An us against the world mentality can soon enter into this toxic relationship dynamic; in the most extreme cases, we see behaviors like Bonnie and Clyde.
When we share happy or good news that does not help or feed them, it causes the vampire pain as if shining sunlight on their skin--your happiness and success burns!!! Therefore, they MUST stop the pain and do what needs to be done. In fairness, if you were lit on fire, what would you do? They may be acting 'as if' they are happy and supportive of you; in full disclosure, we teach this skill in psychotherapy. Acting 'as if' is one method of helping vampires who don't like how they 'live' in our world AND it is an ACTING 'as if' behavior. They do NOT feel love, warmth or care about your life beyond what is of benefit to them or what they can extract for themselves (for a spiritual person, this includes your Medicine). What we feel from them is our own light they have extracted from us and past victims used to mask themselves in order to create the illusion of their desirability as a person or in the world (Wild Wild Country depicts a master illusionist, mesmerist and grifter). Reformed vampires are sometimes depicted on the series Supernatural, they are often acting 'as if' they are human and feed on lesser forms (i.e. animals or donated blood) in order to survive and the hunger/temptation is always at the forefront of their lives. Give them a taste of fresh human blood and they are overcome with instinct, hunger and fury.
In our happiness, growth or other positive experience in the world, a vampire will begin to experience pressure building and ultimately move into patterned, often gaslighting, behaviors (created long before you, me or anyone else new entered their life). They may attempt to sabotage your success by creating drama cycles, such as family arguments, suicidal ideation or attempts, relapses in addiction, threats against you, your profession, animals, home, etc. Anything they can do to ensure you are, at the very least, distracted, if not altogether unable to attend. These behaviors become ESPECIALLY evident when there are critical meetings such as a job interview, being timely to pick up a loved one or attending an appointment, even a holiday party, etc. Ensuring your inability to find personal success and mindful connection with the outside world. How can we connect to the here and now when our thoughts are busy elsewhere?
Eventually, we begin a silent descent of solitude fearing rejection from the vampire (there is an addictive/codependent quality) and those we love or once called our tribe are likely already at a distance. We are unable to see or accept our own truth of what led us into the relationship (often a core wound), protecting and/or defending the vampire, etc. Over time, we become smaller as our world is shrinking; Inside Out does a beautiful job depicting how our inner worlds crumble around us slowly from external influence and then, how our outer world begins to become smaller too. If we attempt to terminate the relationship because we feel the vampire has 'violated' us or the relationship in some way, they will use our own words, thoughts and actions to manipulate the narrative in order to make us question ourselves and reality (amongst other tactics). They employ trickery to keep us trying to guess what is going on, to the point we start to question our sanity (a.k.a. gaslighting) and then, our very foundation begins to crack. This can be an opportunity to reclaim oneself and, it would be best to avoid these relationships at all cost.
We diagnose vampiric behavior with many things in the field of psychology such as seen in addiction, codependency, and personality disorders/features of: narcissism, antisocial, borderline, histrionic, sociopath, psychopathy, etc. These individuals have a LIFELONG pattern of maladaptive behavior that does NOT and WILL NOT change over time. No amount of love or acceptance will change them and it will surely change you as they extract every last piece until you are dead, or wish you were, as you look around at the tattered fabric of your life or decide to have self respect and leave. And you WILL be discarded without ceremony when a new food source becomes available.
Influence of Planetary Alignments: Chiron & Uranus
I believe Chiron in Aries will challenge this dynamic significantly. In total, I am interpreting these energies, as either ushering in the opportunity for deep and satisfying healing paving a powerful way forward or leading us into an existential crisis where we no longer have a reason or know what the meaning of our life is or who we are.
Ground while maintaining the ability to move freely--DAILY (change will happen).
The belief I had about myself held me hostage. Ultimately, I didn't want to let the reality I had created go by saying 'this doesn't work for me' and walking away. It felt like giving up on the foundation of my belief system, fundamental pieces of me and thus, my Self, while continuing to make one compromise after another. Standing up for my Self, ending relationships and cutting chords (in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual worlds) were all part of eliminating these sick relationship patterns and predators from my life and world. That world is no longer mine, as it was a world devastated by my own unhealthy boundaries, codependency and a host of maladaptive behaviors triggering childhood inflicted PTSD (or vice versa).
I take full responsibility for the disrespect I allowed to enter my life and the consequences for my part in it. There were a lot of things that happened against my will and yet, with my acceptance. Today, I value myself as a kind, caring and loving person demonstrating that expression for myself above ALL, then family, friends, community, and organizations who offer respect and healthy boundaries themselves. All else is let go.
I am worth far more than casting pearls to swine.
of pearls and bone
by: Jessica Ruth Allen